What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Randomize
