So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
