just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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