I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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