I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
