HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize