i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
