I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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