forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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