i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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