I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
