I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
