Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
