he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
