I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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