i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.