I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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