He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
