he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
