I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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