dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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