Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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