on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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