you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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