oh god the rape fog is back!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
