The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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