Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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