that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
