tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dear god my vagina.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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