Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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