its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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