I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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