why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
