If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
