do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i out mim tonsoeep
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