I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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