biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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