Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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