PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.