so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
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Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
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He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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