I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There r osticjed everywhere
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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