I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...