We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.