Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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(510): You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock... http://tfl.nu/jcau

Replies (236) Good night (1070) Bad night (3846)
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(407): View more from Florida

me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.

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(407): me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun. http://tfl.nu/sy2c

Replies (41) Good night (4338) Bad night (1357)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...

(443): View more from Maryland

How'd that go?

(301): View more from Maryland

Hes on his way with a baseball bat...

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(301): I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been... (443): How'd that go? (301): Hes on his way with a baseball bat... http://tfl.nu/x8jv

Replies (14) Good night (929) Bad night (4239)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...

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(501): so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm... http://tfl.nu/bp9a

Replies (40) Good night (5576) Bad night (1611)
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(850): View more from Florida

You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.

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(850): You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line. http://tfl.nu/m4ec

Replies (16) Good night (1342) Bad night (4676)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.

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(330): I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter. http://tfl.nu/h1kf

Replies (6) Good night (1010) Bad night (2531)
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(406): View more from Montana

apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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(406): apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone... http://tfl.nu/2d2g

Replies (12) Good night (4768) Bad night (1277)
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(646): View more from New York

You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door

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(646): You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door http://tfl.nu/u8he

Replies (6) Good night (2263) Bad night (890)
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(513): View more from Ohio

This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.

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(513): This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last. http://tfl.nu/vgx8

Replies (8) Good night (3455) Bad night (944)
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(716): View more from New York

i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.

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(716): i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents. http://tfl.nu/knds

Replies (9) Good night (3689) Bad night (780)
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(407): View more from Florida

I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever

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(407): I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever http://tfl.nu/eali

Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (1385)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick

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(610): Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick http://tfl.nu/2y12

Replies (0) Good night (744) Bad night (1089)
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(512): View more from Texas

Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.

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(512): Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway. http://tfl.nu/39nz

Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (615)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "

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(252): Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison " http://tfl.nu/v70i

Replies (5) Good night (580) Bad night (1046)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...

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(309): Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers... http://tfl.nu/i2q8

Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (603)

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