If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?