oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
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He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground