Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen