Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs

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  (619): i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs http://tfl.nu/9vkb
  Replies (83) Good night (705) Bad night (9894)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury

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  (248): he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury http://tfl.nu/93f6
  Replies (89) Good night (5619) Bad night (1350)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.

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  (617): found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked. http://tfl.nu/pme2
  Replies (34) Good night (12200) Bad night (863)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know

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  (216): Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know http://tfl.nu/zyp8
  Replies (25) Good night (1116) Bad night (5271)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city

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  (204): some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city http://tfl.nu/k6ti
  Replies (38) Good night (12240) Bad night (1138)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

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  (540): just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/k011
  Replies (34) Good night (7676) Bad night (1002)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...

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  (443): At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead... http://tfl.nu/ukld
  Replies (10) Good night (812) Bad night (4415)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...

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  (817): So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals... http://tfl.nu/dkvo
  Replies (13) Good night (2242) Bad night (744)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.

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  (407): I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs. http://tfl.nu/utt1
  Replies (9) Good night (2366) Bad night (599)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us

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  (954): stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us http://tfl.nu/1h6z
  Replies (3) Good night (2008) Bad night (569)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult

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  (941): Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult http://tfl.nu/exna
  Replies (8) Good night (2141) Bad night (629)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.

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  (817): Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount. http://tfl.nu/oq9w
  Replies (10) Good night (2117) Bad night (453)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

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  (902): In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts. http://tfl.nu/zdfo
  Replies (3) Good night (1139) Bad night (350)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.

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  (478): So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando. http://tfl.nu/7jrk
  Replies (6) Good night (945) Bad night (401)
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  (949): View more from California

  Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.

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  (949): Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young. http://tfl.nu/8x4p
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (334)

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