Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
