talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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