Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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