Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
