ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
