I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
