Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize