Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
