take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
