I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
