I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
