In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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