..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize