when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
