what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
