genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize