It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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