I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
wow bdsm is so cute
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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