Duck Duck Cougar?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
