just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Shame - the story of my life.
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