Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
