he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
