marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
