She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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