Who did Billy Mays play for?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
