I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
